Low on Optimism

So today my optimism tank is running pretty low. I had a super-frustrating day at school and this week I also found out that the person who was my "in" in the Durango school district no longer has his position. Whether that was planned, or something else happened, I do not know. What I know is that my info got forwarded to someone else and they sent me a very generic "the economy sucks and we are not sure if we are going to hire anyone this year, but check back in April" email. Fantastic. Apparently a lot of the school districts in CO are facing some major financial issues... and while I don't think I was unrealistic about job prospects, when other people keep telling you that you will get any job you want, it is kind of a slap in the face to deal with a situation that is so opposite of what I was told to expect.

While I do not specifically have my heart set on one particular place, I am feeling a huge amount of pressure to get a job somewhere that I actually can see myself living for an extended period of time. Granted, this pressure is coming from myself... but I am so tired of moving around and not having a freaking HOME. I want to have an address that my friends can actually put in their address books (I am told that I am a post-it note because I have used up too many spaces already), I want to have a local phone number, I want to pay a mortgage instead of rent and know the people in my town. I want to have a group of friends and a boyfriend who I can be with for longer than a year or two that I happen to be in a particular place. I also want to have my own classroom that I can arrange and organize in a non-stupid way. I want to have colleagues that I can build a relationship with since I will be somewhere for more than a few months. I want to get involved in projects that I believe in because I work somewhere where I actually choose to be.

I wouldn't change the life I have had so far because my experiences living in different places and meeting different people have made me ME, and I think I am a pretty cool person because of all of that....... but I am ready to put down some roots so that I can start growing my branches and leaves and see what else I have in me. So anyway, the bottom line is that I am feeling very small, frustrated, overwhelmed, and sad. I know it's more about my perspective than about some all-powerful "right" answer... so if you happen to have any magic pickles (we read Aladdin and the Magic Pickle Jar this week in school... pretty funny!) or just some extra warm fuzzies hanging around.... Please send them my way.

Adventures of the Big Fat Grey Kitty

Since the fat kitty is often very jealous that he cannot go exploring outside like Sherlock does, every once in a while I leave my door open and let him go poke around in the hall. While this might not sound very interesting to you, it usually takes him at least an hour to come back on his own (unless a neighbor dog goes by, in which case it is .02 seconds).

Well yesterday I had kind of forgotten that I had let him out, realized that it had been quite a while since I had seen him, and then realized that I had not shut the door to the stairs before I let him go exploring. However, as I was about to start panicking, I heard some funny sounds coming from the laundry room:



I am wondering if he was napping in there for a while as it was still nice and warm from my clothes :) Goofy Kitty :)

Ode to Gatorade

So this week was not quite what I was hoping for. I woke up on Wednesday morning feeling like I had been run over by a truck... and it went down hill from there. Lets just say I have had a full body cleansing over the past couple days thanks to a very nasty stomach flu bug. Thank goodness for Gatorade.

Unfortunately my planned day off on Friday was spent being sick, but at least I already had sub plans done. It just means I am not really near being caught up on things like I had planned. So instead of a nice relaxing weekend, I am multitasking my nose off trying to get as much done as I can.

28 days until spring break.

Chapter 3... CHECK!

So as of around 11:00am I officially turned in the 3rd chapter of my masters paper! Wooo hoo!! Then I was super-productive sorting out the end of my Americorps term. I am eligible for their program because I don't get paid for teaching, and since my school is considered to be low socioeconomically, they consider my internship as community service. All I have to do is track my hours and write monthly essays, but it is definitely worth it!

Sherlock came with me to visit his favorite CC people (there are always doggy treats in the education house) and then we were off for a nice long dog-walk. Sherlock was very VERY patient with me while I was working for the last two days, so I made sure he got his play time today! After 2 and a half hours of mud and snow, we were both pooped! We stopped off at the grocery store, and now we are home. Sherlock is sound asleep on his bed, and I am considering a nap... but since I haven't done any planning for this week I figured I better get some of that done.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever catch up?!?!

Masters Paper or 2-year-old Birthday Party...?

Ok so it wasn't even really a question. My local-favorite kiddo had a birthday on Friday. He turned the big 2! So today I took a break from writing the next chapter of my masters paper (due Tuesday -- yes, I know I procrastinated) to help him celebrate. It was the best part of my day :) He got quite a few Little Einsteins toys (his favorite show). From me he got a little stuffed Eeyore and a coupon good for at least two parent-and-sibling-free dates with his super-cool Aunt Polly. He was thrilled with Eeyore and Marci and Jeff were pretty excited about the coupon too :)

So... I don't have school tomorrow (thanks to all those presidents!) but will be finishing up my chapter and catching up on planning for the upcoming week. We have reading CSAP (state testing) this week, so it is light on the planning side. I also decided that I deserved an extra day off (actually I need it for sanity purposes) so I took Friday off next week to actually have a 3 day weekend I can enjoy!

Alright, back to the grind! I need to get in a couple more pages before the fat kitty and I hit the pillow (although I think he is already there!) :)

:(

No snow day. Not really a good day. But then I came home and walked my dog and listened to the wind and life was ok. Next time I'll wear my pjs inside-out (thanks SS!!)

Hee-a-Hoo-a-Mee-a-Snow-a!!!

That is the chant that goes with my snow-day dance. Currently it is slush/snowing which hopefully will freeze and the be covered by lots of snow so that I can sleep in tomorrow and have another day off. If you have any additional snow-day-magic/prayers/rituals you can do on my behalf, please do so. Immediately.

So sorry I didn't update you on the rest of the week last week... Wednesday and Thursday were kinda more like the poopy Tuesday. Friday was ok, but by then I was so beat it didn't really get recognized by the good-day-review. This weekend was too short (hee-a-hoo-a-mee-a-snow-a!) but I was pretty productive. I cleaned alot... which made me feel productive and less icky. I took my puppy dog for several long walks. I also did a lot of laundry and enjoyed sleeping in in my nice clean sheets. I also took several naps. I got caught up on grading papers, planned for the week, and even sort-of-started on the next chapter of my masters paper. I also had a nice lunch with my friend Jessica (soon to be a resident of Africa!).

I am not really thrilled about starting another week already. I feel overwhelmed and tired and stressed about pretty much everything. What is worst about feeling that was is that I know it affects my teaching sometimes. Luckily the kiddos usually make me feel better... so other than the snow (hee-a-hoo-a-mee-a-snow-a!) I am counting on them to help me stay positive!

OH!! Before I forget... I must give a birthday shout-out to my Becky. There is only one Becky and she is the bestest one in the whole world. Whether she is throwing up in a garbage can, eating lunch with me outside the Transy art gallery, dressing up in ridiculous costumes and taking pictures of herself, coming to Idaho to visit me and falling down multiple times on cross country skis, or just making me laugh so hard I pee a little... I love her to pieces. Happy Belated Birthday my Becky!! :)

Ok... time for pjs. I'm trying to remind myself of the wisdom of Winnie the Pooh:
"Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day."

I want to be a cat.

So I had to get up this morning to meet with another teacher to swap some ideas over breakfast. Just before I got up, my fat kitty crawled back in bed (after eating his breakfast). Two hours later, after my meeting and grocery shopping, I came home and found that he had not moved.



I want to be a cat.

Do-over

Tuesday was poop. I think it shouldn't count in my good-week record. I am counting tomorrow as a do-over. Hopefully tomorrow won't be poop.

Not Bad for a Monday!

So while I still wish it was Friday, it wasn't bad for a Monday! I did, of course, have to get up way too early this morning, but I thouroughly enjoyed my new shampoo and it made my hair very nice and soft today :)

School was ok... the kids were somewhat mellow which was totally fine with me. I am in the process of getting my kids some international pen pals at other schools -- part of my MR topic of expanding global perspective. I explained it to them today and they seemed very exited about it! Mondays are also nice because they are short, since we have staff meetings after school. So after having the kiddos measure the room with pencils, notebooks, teddybears, and books (non-standard units of measurement) I sent them packing! :)

After school we had a cross-district collaboration meeting about teaching vocabulary. While I can't say that I learned a ton, it did make me feel good about my teaching because I was mentally checking off things I already do with my kiddos. One of my concerns about teaching was that I would talk "too high" for the 3rd grade, but I think this has actually helped. I do a good job explaining what I mean with certain words and phrases... and the kids find it a fun kind of challenge to remember the words I use. It's fun to see "magnificent" pop up in their writing and 12 hands raised when I ask them what the word is for the giant rock that Pikes Peak is made from (batholith).

Since Mondays are short, the staff meeting was at a different school which was over on my side of town, and the meeting actually got out on time, I got home before 4:00. This meant I had time to take the pooperdog for a long walk at the dog park and he was VERY happy. He got lots of loves (as usual), made friends with a lovely and bouncy golden retriever, and got nice and muddy.

I had to stop by the bank on my way home - which is also in the grocery store, so instead of coming home to cook, I picked up some super yummy bbq chicken and enjoyed the luxury of 1hr of TV with a fun episode of Chuck. I love Chuck :)

Now it's time to finish the rest of the lesson planning for the week and then climb into bed with the snuggly fat kitty (who is currently sleeping upsidedown in a box). Hopefully the rest of the week follows this trend!

Cram it all in!

Ok... so I am going to try to cram a bunch of Polly-update info into one post. I'm taking a break from all the other stuff I need to do and figured I better blog while I can! So let's see...

My pupper dog turned 5!! He got a birthday card from his favorite Frost and he was very very excited about it. :)

I'm officially done student teaching. I got my final grade (A - yay!) and am now officially an (unpaid) employee of the school district. I am confident about being in charge of the classroom and I am having a ball with the kids... I'm just so stressed about all the other stuff I have to do.

Part of that "other stuff" is getting a job. I was really hoping to get into the Woodland Park school district as they were in the process of establishing a "School in the Woods." It would be a dream job to work outside with kids and nature... but some woman who worked for the district embezzled over $500,000 and so they can't open the school anymore. :(

On the bright side, I have an "in" with the Durango school system, so we'll see what comes of that!

Another part of that "other stuff" is writing more of my MR paper. My kiddos are going to be communicating (via email) with other classrooms in other countries as part of my topic of expanding global perspective. I think they will really get excited about it, but of course it means more work for me.

My CC friends Jessica and her husband Jordan went to the international teacher-job fair and were offered positions in a school in Nigeria, Africa. I am SO excited for them!!! I am also tickled that I will have a hook-up in Africa. Safari 2010? I hope so!! :)


I am sure there is more... but I am too tired to think. I am going to take a quick nap and then make some dinner so I can finish my weekend work. 8 months down... 5.5 to go!